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Media Life Dos Juevos

Karen: Media Life

Media Life by Karen

First, a note to all of you aghast at my stupidity for showing Hiatus Boyfriend my piece about looking for a TV Character Man. Rest assured, I showed him a heavily edited version. (And yet, he was still mad. Go figure.)

Ok, got housekeeping out of the way. Here’s what’s on my mind this week: I’m totally obsessed with The Gilmore Girls. I swear, I should write for this show. Or they should write for me. Or maybe they are writing for me. They have lifted Rory’s boyfriends right from my life.

Look at Rory and Dean. I have a Dean in Hiatus Boyfriend. He’s a great guy, knows me, tolerates my idiosyncrasies, is there for me, and fits in. Dean made Rory a car; Hiatus B always knew the right present (up until the year that he bought me a microwave because I needed it. Because I needed it!?) Dean literally held Rory up on the dance floor; Hiatus B has held me many times during crying meltdowns. Dean knew Rory’s favorite foods; Hiatus B knows that if it doesn’t involve chocolate or the bread group, I don’t want it.. Rory freaked out when Dean said he loved her; I freaked out when Hiatus B said he loved me. Rory and Dean drifted apart when she went to Yale; Hiatus B and I are currently drifting apart while I’m in grad school. When Rory and Dean were apart, Dean got married. When Hiatus B and I were broken up for a while, he had a kid. See?

See what I mean???

And it gets even weirder.

We all knew that Rory and Dean couldn’t end up together. Dean was too small town for Rory. The day would arrive when Rory would have to move on. That day has come for Hiatus B and me. (That sounds like a country-western song.) But Rory had it lucky, Dean always broke up with her, she never had to actually say the words. That’s not quite like Hiatus B and me, but perhaps the writers didn’t want to make it too obvious that they were lifting ideas from my life.

Another red herring from the writers: Rory went right to Jess. I’m still looking for a Jess. Well, actually, I’m not, I always thought Jess was an ass, but you know what I mean. But I did have a Jess once, and Lorelei is right – they are just trouble. My Jess was a violent coke user. Never violent with me, but he was famous in college for doing drugs, getting in fights, and being an all around bad guy. So of course I was wildly flattered when he was genuinely interested in me.  And I tell ya, he fell hard, if I say so myself. But I was never in love with him, and when he started talking about “our future” I was so out of there.

And Logan, can we talk about Logan?  I had a Logan as well.  He was a real spoiled brat asshole. Didn’t treat me with a lot of respect.  And I was Rory in the bathroom, crying to mommy (in my case, my sister),  “Why doesn’t he like me?” My advice is to stay away from those types, or you’ll be Rory in the bathroom.

So I swear, the writers are lifting from my life for Rory’s boyfriends.  Maybe that’s why I’m so intrigued to see who Rory dates next. Will Logan come back? And what the hell will his excuse be that he stopped calling?  Are they going to get her back together with Dean? I really hope not. I don’t want to see Rory stuck in Stars Hollow forever. She deserves to be Christiane Amanpour, traveling the world and writing.  Dean, as much as I like him, would drag her down. Poor Dean. It really doesn’t pay to be the nice guy.

So, Gilmore writers? Go ahead and alert Casting that I’m ready for a new love interest. Preferably someone my age; I don’t understand all these 24 year olds you’re casting.  You don’t really think that I should be with one of them do you?  Can we get a man? Can you see if Ryan Reynolds is available, or is he too busy promoting Amityville Horror and touring with Alanis?

 I have two friends who are being very proactive about their dating lives right now. One is actively trying to break up a guy and his girlfriend, and one is on a dating website. Me, I do nothing. I’m rarely proactive in my love life. Please, just cast someone in the part and tell me what to do. If you can’t find anyone good, I’ll just continue about my day. I wonder if this is bad. I wonder if I watch too much TV, and therefore assume that my love interest will show up at some point.  And if a guy does show up, will he be an arc, or will he become a series regular? I don’t much care, and that’s the honest truth. Sure, I’d like a series regular, but at this point I’d just like a show.  I’m in limbo here.  When does Rory graduate?  Maybe I can go do whatever she does.

Email me at Karen@crackpotpress and weigh in on who Rory should date. While you’re at let’s talk Lorelei – Luke, or Christopher?