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5 Tricks to Becoming a Conservative Blogger PDF Print E-mail
Written by Dave Howard   


Ann Colter BigotThere seems to be a successful formula on the Right that the left seems to ignore.   So listen up and let’s see what we can learn from them. The blogosphere is important. This is why I am predicting a Romney landslide in the fall.

But we can still turn this around, if we follow the examples of right wing bloggers.

#1 Claim Victory

Always be victorious. This is a simple lesson that W. taught us during the 2000 December squabble. Right or wrong, go out there and tell the world you are right.  The most devastating event in the recent right is the loss of Sarah Palin and that other guy’s failures to get elected president. And yet, the first activity was not to admit defeat but to question the legitimacy of the election, and the birthers (i.e. folks who couldn’t fathom having a black president) were born, then born again.  Even without any proof, this was claimed as fact and started a firestorm.

#2 Lather, Do Not Rinse, Repeat

As a genius once said, “Fiction + Opinion=Fact.” Simply make up your own facts and continue to repeat them. Then repeat. For example, George Bush can take as much credit for the killing of Osama Bin Ladin as Obama. Obviously this untrue, otherwise George Bush would have gotten Osama Bin Ladin.  Anything good is Republican born. Like when Romney solved the Detroit problem. Remember all those Republican sex perverts a few years ago? Fox News just simply reported them as Democrats. Genius!

#3 Do Not Question Your Authority

You never hear the Red bloggers call out their peeps. If a rightie said it, it must be true. If it is outlandishly wrong, just ignore it and it didn’t happen. It’s not a lie if you believe it.

This is a major problem with leftie bloggers, they (like there GOP counterparts) tend to point out the shortfalls of the Obama administration. Unless we want another right- wing puppet and spokesman for the Koch brothers, folks, it’s time to show some pride in this guy.  He has disassembled Al-Qaida, saved the economy from disaster, reformed health-care (until the Supreme Court decides to mock him and repeal it) and has made a bold move in the name of Civil Rights. Name one positive accomplishment of the Bush administration. The president has had an uphill boulder roll for his entire presidency.   He’s gotten a lotta stuff done and deserves credit from those of us who elected him. Perfect? No. But still pretty awesome.

Take Romney, most of the conservative bloggers have never really been fans. They do not have the inspiration or the fire in the belly that we all felt in 2008 when Obama stepped to the stage. But now he is their great white hope.

#4  Play the Victim Card

This really works.  I can’t even tell you how worked up I have seen folks after reading about the latest “War on Christmas” or how the media only makes fun of white males or how Obama gets a free pass because he black. Because of Tip #2 this narrative gets repeated over and over until people (both sides) think their heads are going to explode. And this makes folks angry and the bloggers who exploit this very popular.

#5 I’m not a Bigot. But I refuse to be politically correct.

Let’s get this straight being PC has gotten hippy-fied but at its core, it just means be nice to folks and treat them with respect (even Republicans).  However, by claiming to not be politically correct, it seems to clear folks to be as big an asshole as they please. This can be freeing. Look how many folks claimed that Obama may be a Muslim.  But the fact is, it shouldn’t matter if he is a Muslim or not. It’s just another form of bigotry, disguised by the War on Terror.   However, by removing the Politically Correct label you can get closer to your bigoted core audience and it gets people riled up. People who are bigots love being them and, like it or not, they are the GOPs base.  So since I am not PC, Republicans are bigots. Bigots. Bigots. Bigots.

So folks get on your asses and start typing. This election isn’t gonna solve itself.


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